So it has begun.
The proposal for Worlds is all done up, with point to point ass-kissing argumentations to convince the college adminstration that the importance and urgency of our debate union's participation in the World Championship cannot be over emphasized.
All I can do is to leave everything to God and come two weeks time, we shall know if any of us are gonna spend a white Christmas and New Year's in good ole' Vancouver. Wait a second, I don't believe in God. In hapless moments as these- fuck principles and Sir Isaac Newton- Hello Jesus/Allah/Buddha/Krishna/Sponge Bob Square Pants, I LOVE YOU ALL!(if you get me to Canada)
Debate is really taking the toll on me. That is basically all that I ever think of. I wake up, I read up on the UNSC Veto Abolishment, when I go for lunch I read about the horrors that are happening among starving people who would rather use their money to buy guns and fight than to have clean water, dinner time I read on why Euro is better than the USD, come nightfall I find myself doing up the debate union paperworks.
It is hard to be a leader. I can't seem to run away but to be an asshole all the time. I am a perfectionist and I expect everyone who is working with/for me to execute their task to nothing less than how I would do it, and that would be Perfect. I cannot tolerate fuckers who don't do their work. I am not even talking about running the team, I am sorta doing a one-man show around here lately but it's okay. I started the Union, I shall keep it alive. But what I cannot tolerate is the instance when fuckers who want to call themselves university debaters come for debate meetings without reading as much as 2 pages on our practice motion for the night. Don't fuckin' come to practice if you don't know jackshit about the issue at hand. I get super pissy when the bloody debate never take off because 1. people do not know the issue 2. they do not have the analytical power to debate but still choose to not read up ALOT. I don't care if you are stupid and can't analyze critically but it does tell me alot about your attitude if you don't even read to compensate for your inability to debate.
I lashed out at The Queen last nite. I was really pissed when she said that the UN is working today because the US and the UK are the largest financial and military contributors to the world body. Every idiot knows that US owe the UN fuckin' billions of dollars in backlogged dues and US don't really send in troops for peacekeeping 'cos the yanks don't want their soldiers to be subjected to the ICJ legislations. And then she wonderfully claimed that China has never Vetoed in the UNSC. Fuck my ass. The King claimed confidently that the Rwandan atrocities happened not because the P5 was power-playing with their veto privileges, but their inaction was a causal result of Article 7- their always-helping hands were tied. I mean, C'mon- any high school kids would know how to rebutt sorry ass points like that.
The Queen was pissed that I always forced people to think like I do in debates. I apologized for getting personal. I did get personal last nite out of the frustration that my team that I am counting on to debate against kids from Oxbridge are making arguments like they were still back in the day care. I vented my frustration on them. Yes I did. And I am sorry for it. But that still does not deflect the fact that we are a very retarded debate team. I just cannot stand it when my team mates say shit that is bullshit and could warrant a counter-argument in split second from a 7 year-old.
I felt sorry for lashing out. Things got heated up but we made up later. I was just tired and stressed. Deep down, I know everyone is working very hard for the team. One of the more essential things that I learn as a leader is that I cannot expect everyone to work to my level of expectation or my way of doing things. I have to learn to trust people or else I risk being a much-hated stupid dictator. I wish someone else would pick up the mantle, but I do not see a Man in the team. USM students are all kids and as long as they do not grow up, I shall keep on pushing them to keep up. and put up With the annoying me.
*******************************************************
Dear You,
I guess the only thing that I regret is that I have pushed away love for these few months. i have always been like that when I work. I can shut out the entire world in pursuit of my goals. There is nothing that I see except for the light at the end of the tunnel, I cannot and do not want to be distracted by anything, anyone. I admit, I have chose to push us away and I miss you, dearly. There was countless times when I flipped and unflipped my cellphone in contemplation of calling and hearing your voice. I am coming home for college break this weekend and I am really looking forward to hanging out with you again. I'm going to make it a point to bring you to 7Ate9, the Zeta Bar, Tiffin' Lounge, Luna Bar and Cynna. I know how much you like all these fancy hang outs with ambiance. Yes, I do not like them but I would still want to go because of You. I just want to be with you doing the things that you like to do; the same way like how you hate theaters or indie music but would still put up with me. I understand things have been blowing cold and warm between us and I have not been the best person that I could be. I am really confused about us and I am pretty sure you are too. I wish I had replied your text message, I was out partying but deep down I knew I was out to get you out of my mind. I am coming home and I really need to see you again.
The proposal for Worlds is all done up, with point to point ass-kissing argumentations to convince the college adminstration that the importance and urgency of our debate union's participation in the World Championship cannot be over emphasized.
All I can do is to leave everything to God and come two weeks time, we shall know if any of us are gonna spend a white Christmas and New Year's in good ole' Vancouver. Wait a second, I don't believe in God. In hapless moments as these- fuck principles and Sir Isaac Newton- Hello Jesus/Allah/Buddha/Krishna/Sponge Bob Square Pants, I LOVE YOU ALL!(if you get me to Canada)
Debate is really taking the toll on me. That is basically all that I ever think of. I wake up, I read up on the UNSC Veto Abolishment, when I go for lunch I read about the horrors that are happening among starving people who would rather use their money to buy guns and fight than to have clean water, dinner time I read on why Euro is better than the USD, come nightfall I find myself doing up the debate union paperworks.
It is hard to be a leader. I can't seem to run away but to be an asshole all the time. I am a perfectionist and I expect everyone who is working with/for me to execute their task to nothing less than how I would do it, and that would be Perfect. I cannot tolerate fuckers who don't do their work. I am not even talking about running the team, I am sorta doing a one-man show around here lately but it's okay. I started the Union, I shall keep it alive. But what I cannot tolerate is the instance when fuckers who want to call themselves university debaters come for debate meetings without reading as much as 2 pages on our practice motion for the night. Don't fuckin' come to practice if you don't know jackshit about the issue at hand. I get super pissy when the bloody debate never take off because 1. people do not know the issue 2. they do not have the analytical power to debate but still choose to not read up ALOT. I don't care if you are stupid and can't analyze critically but it does tell me alot about your attitude if you don't even read to compensate for your inability to debate.
I lashed out at The Queen last nite. I was really pissed when she said that the UN is working today because the US and the UK are the largest financial and military contributors to the world body. Every idiot knows that US owe the UN fuckin' billions of dollars in backlogged dues and US don't really send in troops for peacekeeping 'cos the yanks don't want their soldiers to be subjected to the ICJ legislations. And then she wonderfully claimed that China has never Vetoed in the UNSC. Fuck my ass. The King claimed confidently that the Rwandan atrocities happened not because the P5 was power-playing with their veto privileges, but their inaction was a causal result of Article 7- their always-helping hands were tied. I mean, C'mon- any high school kids would know how to rebutt sorry ass points like that.
The Queen was pissed that I always forced people to think like I do in debates. I apologized for getting personal. I did get personal last nite out of the frustration that my team that I am counting on to debate against kids from Oxbridge are making arguments like they were still back in the day care. I vented my frustration on them. Yes I did. And I am sorry for it. But that still does not deflect the fact that we are a very retarded debate team. I just cannot stand it when my team mates say shit that is bullshit and could warrant a counter-argument in split second from a 7 year-old.
I felt sorry for lashing out. Things got heated up but we made up later. I was just tired and stressed. Deep down, I know everyone is working very hard for the team. One of the more essential things that I learn as a leader is that I cannot expect everyone to work to my level of expectation or my way of doing things. I have to learn to trust people or else I risk being a much-hated stupid dictator. I wish someone else would pick up the mantle, but I do not see a Man in the team. USM students are all kids and as long as they do not grow up, I shall keep on pushing them to keep up. and put up With the annoying me.
*******************************************************
Dear You,
I guess the only thing that I regret is that I have pushed away love for these few months. i have always been like that when I work. I can shut out the entire world in pursuit of my goals. There is nothing that I see except for the light at the end of the tunnel, I cannot and do not want to be distracted by anything, anyone. I admit, I have chose to push us away and I miss you, dearly. There was countless times when I flipped and unflipped my cellphone in contemplation of calling and hearing your voice. I am coming home for college break this weekend and I am really looking forward to hanging out with you again. I'm going to make it a point to bring you to 7Ate9, the Zeta Bar, Tiffin' Lounge, Luna Bar and Cynna. I know how much you like all these fancy hang outs with ambiance. Yes, I do not like them but I would still want to go because of You. I just want to be with you doing the things that you like to do; the same way like how you hate theaters or indie music but would still put up with me. I understand things have been blowing cold and warm between us and I have not been the best person that I could be. I am really confused about us and I am pretty sure you are too. I wish I had replied your text message, I was out partying but deep down I knew I was out to get you out of my mind. I am coming home and I really need to see you again.
2 Comments:
Do not simply give out royalty titles as you please, Mr Lim.
There's only one queen in USM, and she aint in the debate team.
=p
where's tiffin lounge?
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