make this go on forever
I am definitely in love with Lingz. She is the lil' sister that I never had who is crazily stupid enough to entertain my bullshit. We fuckin' clubbed till 4am on a Wednesday nite. I can feel that this is only a prelude to my good ole' American party days revisited. Oh horrors, who the fuck opened the cage and released the camel in my liver again?
I love hitting the clubs 'cos it is the most crowded place on earth, and I love crowds. Looking at a massive amount of beautiful people all dolled up and ready to impress just makes me feel happy, although the huge instant intake of alcohol prior to club entry does help a little too much too. Home beckons in less than 24 hours and something tells my liver that he is gonna be working into over drive for the next one week. I have 4 nites taken up already for my Alcoholic Anonymous meetings. My aim is to not get stupid drunk for the next 7 days and to have enough time to hang out with her. I made a promise to hang out with her when I come home and I have to keep it!
******************************************
Estatic could not even begin to describe my feelings tonight, well technically it is the morning after now. Looks like we are going for Worlds in Vancouver after all. And the most wonderful breakthru was that the college administration is looking into sending TWO teams + 1 Adjudicator + 1 Observer instead of the requested one team of two debaters. This would translate into FIVE kids on the team + 1 Fat dude having the chance to debate against the World's best in Canada. It is moment like this that all my tears and blood toiled pales in comparison to the euphoria of tasting the fruits of the harvest.
The only thing that is left is to meet with God himself, personified in our Vice Chancelor. I will worship anyone who will give us the mullah to go to Canada.
Forget the stress of preparing a kick-ass proposal. Forget the pain of hunting for previous debate results. Forget the countless hours wasted sitting around in the damn office of his just for him to arrive for me to kiss his fat ass. Forget all the long, expensive drives up the island. Forget having to restrain from using profanities when the proposal was shitted upon for 3 weeks before the final draft was done up two nites ago. Forget that we are not putting enough effort into debate practice to participate in Worlds. Forget all incompetencies.
The point is we are going for Worlds come Christmas, and things with the team can only look up from this point forward.
It is pathetic, I know but at least it is the most acceptably realistic take. My personal aim for our teams would be to be in the top 100 teams in the world. With my current form, I don't believe I can take on even Malaysia's 150th-best let alone the world. I do not see anyone on the team who has yet the right win-at-all-cost attitude or competency to even bitch slap my half-ass on any given Sunday. So 1Top 100 is already pushing to the extreme end of the spectrum.
I need to regain that confidence. That sharpness. That monster on the hunger prowl for intellectual dominance that enabled me to push the kids from Ivy Leagues to the brink of intellectual frustration back in the good ole days of debating with a major hangover in the States. I better get to work soon. It frustrates me when I feel that I am stupid or slow. Maybe the alcohol's getting to me but fuck, drinking is good. I need to get into competition form during this holidays and then crack the whip on the rest of the team when the semester resumes. Slackers will not be taken seriously. Team selection should be based on meritocracy, not history. Fuck me if I snooze. You snooze you lose.
We have three possible team line-ups that I thought was pretty exciting and has great potential respectively. All I want is enough new comers to form 3 more teams. SIX new pairings. Then the team would be solid rockin' and with Number comes Strength. The point is to have a group of debaters large enough to be self-motivating. The biggest problem that we are facing right now is that people do not see the point in striving harder for debate excellence because they are guaranteed a spot in team due to the lack of participation. When we have a larger pool of people to select from, generally the probability of selecting better qualified debaters for competition is higher. I want to see everyone FIGHTING to be the most effective speaker at their role. I want to see people FIGHTING to read more. I want to see people FIGHTING to disagree and thrash shit over inside out during post-mortem instead of just sitting mum, staring into the air like a fuckin' mute retard. I want to see a team with FIGHTING SPIRIT with a FIGHTING CHANCE against being mauled alive by snobbish stupid white kids who think they are smarter than us just because their skin color happens to match the color of my ejaculation juice of pussy love. This is the only time that I could wish for Peer Pressure to work advantageously. With the Big carrot being a free trip to spend Christmas onboard a plane bound for Canada, I am pretty sure people would work their asses off, beating any slackers with a stick as Big.
If they don't, they are stupid and retarded people has no place in USM Debate Union.
posted by Kit
3:11 PM
baby, you're something like a Phenomena
So it has begun.
The proposal for Worlds is all done up, with point to point ass-kissing argumentations to convince the college adminstration that the importance and urgency of our debate union's participation in the World Championship cannot be over emphasized.
All I can do is to leave everything to God and come two weeks time, we shall know if any of us are gonna spend a white Christmas and New Year's in good ole' Vancouver. Wait a second, I don't believe in God. In hapless moments as these- fuck principles and Sir Isaac Newton- Hello Jesus/Allah/Buddha/Krishna/Sponge Bob Square Pants, I LOVE YOU ALL!(if you get me to Canada)
Debate is really taking the toll on me. That is basically all that I ever think of. I wake up, I read up on the UNSC Veto Abolishment, when I go for lunch I read about the horrors that are happening among starving people who would rather use their money to buy guns and fight than to have clean water, dinner time I read on why Euro is better than the USD, come nightfall I find myself doing up the debate union paperworks.
It is hard to be a leader. I can't seem to run away but to be an asshole all the time. I am a perfectionist and I expect everyone who is working with/for me to execute their task to nothing less than how I would do it, and that would be Perfect. I cannot tolerate fuckers who don't do their work. I am not even talking about running the team, I am sorta doing a one-man show around here lately but it's okay. I started the Union, I shall keep it alive. But what I cannot tolerate is the instance when fuckers who want to call themselves university debaters come for debate meetings without reading as much as 2 pages on our practice motion for the night. Don't fuckin' come to practice if you don't know jackshit about the issue at hand. I get super pissy when the bloody debate never take off because 1. people do not know the issue 2. they do not have the analytical power to debate but still choose to not read up ALOT. I don't care if you are stupid and can't analyze critically but it does tell me alot about your attitude if you don't even read to compensate for your inability to debate.
I lashed out at The Queen last nite. I was really pissed when she said that the UN is working today because the US and the UK are the largest financial and military contributors to the world body. Every idiot knows that US owe the UN fuckin' billions of dollars in backlogged dues and US don't really send in troops for peacekeeping 'cos the yanks don't want their soldiers to be subjected to the ICJ legislations. And then she wonderfully claimed that China has never Vetoed in the UNSC. Fuck my ass. The King claimed confidently that the Rwandan atrocities happened not because the P5 was power-playing with their veto privileges, but their inaction was a causal result of Article 7- their always-helping hands were tied. I mean, C'mon- any high school kids would know how to rebutt sorry ass points like that.
The Queen was pissed that I always forced people to think like I do in debates. I apologized for getting personal. I did get personal last nite out of the frustration that my team that I am counting on to debate against kids from Oxbridge are making arguments like they were still back in the day care. I vented my frustration on them. Yes I did. And I am sorry for it. But that still does not deflect the fact that we are a very retarded debate team. I just cannot stand it when my team mates say shit that is bullshit and could warrant a counter-argument in split second from a 7 year-old.
I felt sorry for lashing out. Things got heated up but we made up later. I was just tired and stressed. Deep down, I know everyone is working very hard for the team. One of the more essential things that I learn as a leader is that I cannot expect everyone to work to my level of expectation or my way of doing things. I have to learn to trust people or else I risk being a much-hated stupid dictator. I wish someone else would pick up the mantle, but I do not see a Man in the team. USM students are all kids and as long as they do not grow up, I shall keep on pushing them to keep up. and put up With the annoying me.
*******************************************************
Dear You,
I guess the only thing that I regret is that I have pushed away love for these few months. i have always been like that when I work. I can shut out the entire world in pursuit of my goals. There is nothing that I see except for the light at the end of the tunnel, I cannot and do not want to be distracted by anything, anyone. I admit, I have chose to push us away and I miss you, dearly. There was countless times when I flipped and unflipped my cellphone in contemplation of calling and hearing your voice. I am coming home for college break this weekend and I am really looking forward to hanging out with you again. I'm going to make it a point to bring you to 7Ate9, the Zeta Bar, Tiffin' Lounge, Luna Bar and Cynna. I know how much you like all these fancy hang outs with ambiance. Yes, I do not like them but I would still want to go because of You. I just want to be with you doing the things that you like to do; the same way like how you hate theaters or indie music but would still put up with me. I understand things have been blowing cold and warm between us and I have not been the best person that I could be. I am really confused about us and I am pretty sure you are too. I wish I had replied your text message, I was out partying but deep down I knew I was out to get you out of my mind. I am coming home and I really need to see you again.
posted by Kit
11:35 AM
plea from a cat named Virtue
Subtlety and tact were never my strong points. The one thing that I can truly proclaim to be my life defining trait is that I never take shit from anyone. Not from my folks, not my friends, not my girl and certainly not from You.
You had never made known to us why you always choose to leave us at the most opportune moments when we need you most. We have been left in the dark over your peculiar irresponsible behavior of late. Are you ashamed of us? Do you think we are bunch of good for nothing pieces of shit that you would rather dissassociate yourself from?
I will take the helms. This is my dream and it is only right that I wake up and do something about it. I had shied away from my responsibility for some time because I cowardly do not want to be burdened by expectations, and it is always nice to choose the easy way out by half-assing thru things. But I can not keep turning the other cheek and say thank you for every time that you had bitch slapped us across the face. Please do know that after tomorrow, we shall assume zero level of dependency on you and your expertise. Yes, indeed we are old enough to assume our roles and not rely on your homosexual ass any longer. Do know that I am taking away everyone and it shall be war between you and us from this point forward. You started this disrespectful shit stirring. I am compelled to comply. We do not need you. As a matter of fact, that had been my sentiment at the back of my head for some time now. Thank you for hastening my decision of breaking free from you. And thank you for providing me with just the real impetus for a pradigm shift; I shall work even harder to overcome this challenging obstacle that you had put right in front of my face. When the day of the harvest comes, I shall savor every moment of my glory when I can truly proclaim that everything I have on that day, belongs to me and none of it came from you. But I will be grateful to you for waking me up from this slumber. That day shall come to pass. Thank the fuck you for my moment of realization.
You never trusted us, and I never trusted in impossibility. I am Kit Lim and my virtue is to Overcome.
posted by Kit
12:56 PM
Show your bones
I have a really confused brother. I do not know how to connect with him, simply because I don't like him. I am not a very pragmatic person so don't expect me to do extraordinary things when it comes to communicating with people whom I do not like, even if he is my own flesh and blood.
Why don't I like him? Or what do I not like about him?
I have been trying to resolve this nagging question for a long time. It is like a wound on the roof of my mouth that I just could not stop tonguing. A wound that would not heal, a heartache that just would not be resolved.
The truth is, I really want an honest, open, loving relationship with him. The things that he does pisses me off sometimes. However, as I reflect upon his actions I would always put myself in his shoes and find myself making the same decisions as he did. Only thing is that he is ball-sier than I am when I was his age. Fuck, I sound like an old fart.
I suspect the primary reason that I do not like him is that I see myself too much in him. I know he looks up on me alot. I can only hope that he has placed his trust in the right place. I do not want my brother to model himself after his dumbfucked older brother who has not a clue on what to do with his life.
I just do not want him to turn out like me. Not that I feel that I am that bad person, nor am I the type of guy whom chics would just die to bring home to meet their parents. I am just average. I do not want my brother to be average. I do not want him to emulate an average joe. I get pissed when he does the things that I would do. I want him to have a unique personality that is his own. Not one that he copied from his good-for-nothing brother.
He is really unfocused with his life, something that I suffer from now. And he looks upon me for all the answers in life. My whole family does that. Like I have taken over the pillar that hold the house together, from my dad. I guess it is part of growing up. I do not like that.
In the words of the great Bruce Springsteen- Cats like us, are born to roam. No responsibility, No commitment, No shit from anyone. I feel uneasy when I am laiden with expectations from other people. I have lived half my life in the shadows of meeting the expectations of others and the other half breaking free from whatsoever rule, control system that I deem to be restricting my sense of individualism.
I am the Lord of my own.
And I do not even have the capability to control my spiteful feelings when I talk to my brother. He just rubs me off the wrong way.
He is digging deep into my bookshelves. I got really pissed when the first book that he grabbed was on Recreational drugs although that was Exactly what I would do. Then he reached for my zine collections on Anarchism and other sub-culture publications. I felt really uneasy because I have like a fuckin' tonne of books in my room and all he could ever put his hands on was on all those anti-establishment hippie shit. I know I should not blame him 'cos it's only natural and boy- do those books have cool graphic and messages or what?
But I still felt pissy.
So now when he has finally reached out for the more philosophical books, books that I deemed to be better reads and of productive qualities. I am still pissed. He is reading Mike Foucault's Hermeneutics of the Subject now and wants me get him a dictionary because he remarked sarcastically - "Foucault's ain't exactly Primary school readings, you know. I need a dictionary"
That shit totally blew my top. A fuckin' Webster-Mirriam trade paperback would cost RM40 bucks tops. That is like him saving up on 4 packets of fuckin' cancer sticks and he wanted me to get him a dictionary, out of my own pocket so that he can understand the great lectures that Foucault gave in France over cigarettes. He can fuckin' smoke till he dies, I still won't buy him a dictionary that he can bloody well afford if he does not spend all his pocket money on cigs- because would be very irrational.
One of the main things that gets to me most is the things that he do with his life can be damn irrational and stupid to me. And the thing about me is that, if you give me the impression that you are stupid, I would just stop approaching you with respect. I am sorry, but I was raised to not tolerate stupidity. I did alot of stupid things- I paid all my dues; and I am a really stupid individual, so if I deem you to be stupid- then you have gotta be really fuckin' retarded, and no one gives a shit about Terry Schiavo.
And he wanted me to hang out with him over beers and Explain to him the philosophy of Thomas Hobbes and Michael Foucault. Sweet ba'Jesus Christ, Mary mother of Jews! Has he even read Any of them? I cannot even convince myself the validity of Absolutism as according to what I understood from reading a coupla times off fuckin' Hobbes' and now he wants me to explain it. Save Foucault. I do not even deserve the privilege to insult him by retelling his lectures as according to what I think I understood. My nose bleed half way thru his book and I passed out unconscious rendering me not being able to finish reading.
And knowing that the lil' fucker is reading my books when he should really be studying for his Pre-U exam text books just leaves me annoyed.
I am not a good brother.
*********************************************
Not strangely, I feel that I could really use a good hug from You. I urm, yeah miss you. Although you never call and I am too egoistic to pick up the phone or to just plain simply IM you. I would love to be in your company tonight over beers at Oasis. But you would have to do all the talkings. I just want to sip my beer and look at how beautiful you are thru the slight radiance that a flickering candle could afford us. We should really hang out more but talk less. I talk way too much in front of you, perhaps out of nervousness, perhaps out of pretension that I am not a boring guy afterall. Some times I just want to pick up the damn phone and call you but did not do so because yeah, I think things are indeed moving too fast between us. We lose the alluring sense of mystery that keeps us coming back to each other in times as these. So I'd just unflip my cell and put it back into my backpack. I really want you to know that there are moments in my day when my daily thoughts are interposed with random thoughts of you. I have no idea why I like you, maybe we will always go for things that we cannot have but the point to the matter is that my heart takes fancy on you. Heartstrings are best pulled blindly.
If only I could take you by your hands again and sing about my feelings for you at the Zanzi Bar in Jesselton Tonight.
posted by Kit
11:08 AM
So we bottled and shelved all our regrets
Sleep just would not come to my wretched mind last night.
I spent three hours tossing and turning in bed until 5am when I very well knew that I had a meeting scheduled in four hours time with my thesis supervisor.
There was only one thing that kept running thru my mind.
Ironically, I strangely yearned that it was her that kept me awake. Alas, my fluttering heart has stop beating in the absence of her and things that matter in life are slowly reclaiming their rightful unskewed perspectives.
I want the National Championship. I have lost alot of sleep on this over the past three years. It is the one thing that I deem to be succintly desirable to underline my self worth in life.
Everyone places a certain intangible value upon things that they do in life, the highest value accorded to the activity out of which we believe to be self defining. A farmer would toil thru the hottest sun and endure the hardship of his effort being scorned by immercurial behavior of land and seasons; hoping to produce that one corn harvest of highest quality in which he could take pride. To the rest of the world, his effort and life may seem trivial but to him, farming corn is the one thing that matters most in his life simply because he is a corn farmer, and that is what he does and has the ability to do best.
I am a student. My life is defined by my academic achievements. Or rather, that was how things used to be. I lost the sense of importance that academic excellence used to exude when I no longer see the challenge of getting good grades and the worth of getting them.
Partially to be blamed is the Malaysian tertiary education institution's lackadasical and anachronistic approach towards higher education. It does not mean anything for a student to get an A except to validate the fact that he is great when it comes to regurgitating facts that he memorized the fuck out of the textbook a week prior to the exams. We put too much effort in the anachronistic examination-based system yet we do with much less enthusiasm.
I answered only THREE out of a compulsory FIVE examination questions in one of the toughest paper last semester and managed a respectable A- for that course; I repeated the same bullshit for the next 6 papers and still ended up on the Dean's List which was supposed to congratulate my determination and effort in the pursuit of Civil Engineering knowledge that I did not even realized I had put in. Honestly, I put in more effort scouring the club directory for the best place to hold my birthday party than I did studying last semester.
How do I always seem to do that? Thanks to the miracle of Malaysian university grade graph curving! Let's face it. Most Malaysian students are dumbfucks who only know how to waste their time playing stupid lame ass computer games called the Days of the Ancient (DotA).
The point is I am a student, I don't have to study till the last two days before my exams and I will still be a great student because I know I am just That Great. Fuck Academia. No one is going to look at my grades when I start working anyway, notwithstanding the fact that my grades are very respectable.
Which was why I lost sleep.
Academia no longer defines my life.
I need that National Championship to validate my existence as a University Debater. I have been debating for at least 3 years now and this is my final year in college. It is now or never. I need to live up to the pressure of expectations and perform.
My debate team clearly has problems. We are not competitive enough to the extent that I feel people has some sort of a defeatist mentality. There is interest in debating, there is a respectable amount of commitment, there is definitely a high level of potential; but we lack Vision and Passion to be a successful team.
People do not believe that they can do it. People do not believe that they can be Great. People do not see the rainbow at the end of the road therefore they are not putting in the extra effort in charting the course to get there.
There has been some new interest in the team. Alot of new comers has arrived, some stuck around, some gone the next day. The arrival of these dreamy eyed new breed of potential debaters only validates one thing: I need to take the lead. I will not let down any of these wonderful new people who came seeking for another perspective in their mundane Malaysian university life. I kicked some mean asses in the U.S. and I do not believe I am not able to repeat my debating feat here.
The team needs to see the possibility of Greatness and the intangible rewards that comes with being a great orator. They need someone to prove to them that they could be great and show them the way to get there. Yet, in the end of the day, it also needs to be a collective effort, One visionary team working together with shared Passion towards a common goal.
And that is to be the last team standing to lift the National Championship's trophy come November 2006.
Great leaders are great because they have the ability to recognize a problem, break it down and then work thru microscopic level to achieve macro results.
And we could all do that with much Focus.
And believe that we could all be living our wildest dreams if only we start Believing.
Why am I obsessed with being #1 at all times? I do not believe I suffer from the usual bout of male ego inferiority complex issues. Rather, I have always believed that in no matter what we do, we need to give in our 120% effort. All resources, all effort, all means have to be exhausted in all courses of our actions. Life is short. We can't be spending half our lives half-assing thru our days.
The greatest moment of one's life is not in winning, although that is certainly a major booster of a feel good factor, but rather to look back at any moment of our lives and to be able to breathe a sigh of peaceful relief, fully accepting that we have done our best, and things could not have been better within our control.
That is what I want come graduation day May 2006. To know that I could not have done better. That I have indeed lived my college days to the fullest. And giving up everything for debating glory in the next 6 months is how I intend to seek my point of peaceful self validation.
This will be the Best year in the history of Universiti Sains Malaysia Debating Union. I will personally see to that.
posted by Kit
6:33 AM
building my house of cards with your gentle sneeze
I want to return to the United States.
I despise people who just cannot stop complaining about wanting to return to that hallowed holy land where they studied abroad at a time not too long ago, in a galaxy not too far away; Because these dipshits always say shits like that out of their annoying whiny pretentiously royal asses that could not seem to endlessly compare the worst of Malaysia with the best of whichever bumblefuck country they went to.
I want to return to the United States NOT because Malaysia is shit. The truth is because I am Shit.
I am sick of college and my stupid thesis that I have not even started, I am sick of debates and my stupid debate team that has a non-existent level of intellectual worth, I am sick of living my life with no sense of purpose. I am sick of drinking and partyin' my fuckin' days away. I am sick of not being comfortable in my skin. I am sick of wondering what the fuck is wrong with me. I am sick of you and I am sick of us. I am sick of being so attached to my emotions. I am sick of not having the focus to do anything right. I am sick of not knowing what to do with my situation. I am sick of thinking that my world is collapsing inwards when things are not really that big of a deal.
I just want to cross the Atlantic and return to my apartment Room #11. I want to lay in the living room couch where I can just watch TV and shut the hell up, not talk to anyone, just be pissy and brood over the whole day worth of shit eating.
Crystal will then come back from her theater summer rehearsal, sit next to me and complain about her world. At least listening to her whine about her stupid friends and boy problems will make me forget about my worries. She would give me a hug. She would lie next to me. She would let me rest on her shoulder. And we could all just talk and laugh about nothing but mostly on her silly klutzy behavior; just watch and insult whatever that comes on the stupid tube.
Until Katie comes home. And she will tell us what she have been up to on this hot busy summer day. Which boy did she go out with. What her brother had planned for tonite's rock show. She would definitely invite us for her show at the Dinkytowner tonight. Alot of our buddies will be there. The Melodic Owls will play. I could maybe bum into Corey.
Oh no fuck. I don't want to bum into her. No fuckin' way. I already have way too much that I can handle. So I won't go for Katie's show. Corey is gonna be a real headache that I want to avoid until I get my shit straight.
So I'll prolly hang out with Graham and smoke a pound of weed. That is precisely what I need- Weed. We'll just smoke up and hang out with Chris "Bobo Sanchez" Lathrop. He will be clowning around, showing us his magic tricks and playing on his guitar all the awesome songs that he has been composing for ages and repeatedly played for us at least 500 times in the past one year while we were all stoned out of our wits. And then he will try to sell us some magic mushrooms. I will be stupid enough to pay 30 bucks for 1/8 and keep it only for my personal stash to be stolen by Ted the Mushroom Thief.
And Fred will come home. With lotsa beers. He is always an awesome hang out buddy. We'll just be chilling and drinking and smoking weed at our great porch. Laughing at drunken chics walking to and from stupid frat parties next door. It will just be another day at the house. Talking shit and fuckin' around big time. Fred will show us some of his Kung Fu moves and I will just be too stoned to be bothered but will still laugh at any white boy who does a Karate Chop, Wing-Chun Style. And everyone will join us.
That is when Graham and I will dip low to the kitchen and make us all some awesome munchies. Graham will be making his awesome kick ass Strawberry Yoghurt Smoothies while I will be cutting up the potatoes for some great frying wedges of terror.
When it's all done, Graham will acknowledge our intoxicated achievements by saying "Kit, Together, we can make some Snacks"
Elena will be there. Laura will come. Ashley will be akward. Zoey is gonna be hard 'cos she can't know that I was toking with the guys. But Zoey is always fun. She always do stupid shit like a yoga cart wheel down the stairs on a pogo stick or something. I love Zoey.
It's a happy big family.
I have no regrets. I have no worries. I never gave a Fuck about anything or about anyone.
It was all just about us and doing whatever the Fuck we felt like doing. All of us. All the 28 of us crazy bunch of hippies. All in the prime of our youth. All stupid all crazy.
All in all, I wish I was back Home.
'Cos then I don't have to worry. I don't have responsibilities. I don't have to do anything if I don't feel like doing it.
I don't have to think about my stupid thesis and my meeting with my professor and the unnecessary reports and presentation on my fuckin' time-wasting internship at a shit-making concrete plant.
I don't have to fuckin' debate or meet up with stupid fuckers who can't debate. I don't have to feel that I am stupid because I can't put up a decent debate team that is worthy of any Championship titles. I don't have to feel like shit to think that I have been debating for Five years with no achievements whatsoever to my fuckin' stupid name. I need some validations. I want to be good. I know I can be good. I need to know that I am good by beating the best. And I am not able to do that.
I don't have to think of her and how fucked up she was to be involved with him. I don't have to care that she doesn't care for me. I don't have to care what she thinks, or how much I liked her or how everything that was sweet and cherishable between us seems to be on a one-way trip to the shit hole in hell and I could not help but to feel that it was all my fault. I can't help not to think that she probably does not even care about me or how I feel. I feel like a spent conquest who gave up the land out of my own will but still got the shit bombed out of my people anyway. Thank the Fuck You.
In the comfort of 1721 University Ave Minneapolis MN, I would not have all these shit to handle. And the world will never seem like it has abandoned me. Because in that house, we always keep each other's company. We always make sure everyone is safe. We always think of shit to do and everything else will be forgotten. Or else I'd run to Lindsay's or just hang out with Seth and hurl insults at his parents or his stupidity despity him being a 4.0 student, the most brilliant kid the U oF M Faculty of Agriculture has ever had the honor to educate.
In the United States, everything was surreal.
That is because things were in fact unreal. Problems were unreal, that was why they were always left unsolved. That was never my place in this world. The US was what my fairy tales and castles were made of.
Malaysia is where my reality is. And round here, I have a life to live. Problems to resolve. And a lot of people to meet to not want to live the best time of my life in a jaded state.
I love my country even though it is a pile of shit. Because that is what Life is all about, no?
To whip out the best tasting cupcake out of the pile of shit that you were served with.
Or so I keep telling myself.
posted by Kit
11:23 AM
